“Life is ‘trying things to see if they work.’ ”
— Ray Bradbury
A few weeks ago I went on a three day art retreat, and I absolutely loved it. I had dithered to and fro about spending the money on it, spending the time on it (a.k.a being selfish) and the horror of meeting new people. But for a while I’ve been wanting to bring more mindfulness into my creative process. I want to cultivate a happy, symbiotic relationship between intuitive making and intentional making. Plus, I’ve been getting a bit concerned about my tendency to work small and be hermit-like.
In fact, I’ve been so sure of my introversion, my hermitty nature and shyness for so long that that the idea of going at all was daunting. But I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the negative voices in my head because the four other women were all brilliant; lovely, kind, funny and awesome. I was astounded to discover I enjoyed and felt energised by them all.
Led by Lucy Campbell, we started off each day with a gentle yoga practice and a huge breakfast. We did journalling, meditation and affirmations. We walked in the forest and by the river. We talked about creative process, core negative beliefs, ‘hushing and holding’ and how to nurture our creativity every day.
We made inspiration boards, did exercises such as blind contour drawing on large sheets of paper; closing our eyes and ‘feeling’ music; trying new ways of making marks with different tools and mediums; drawing our hands and each other; exploring light and shadow with charcoal and ink.
I worked large (A1 size) on the floor, moving my entire body around. The thing I was worrying about, could I even work that size, completely banished from my mind. After 3 days of using my whole body to create; engaging totally and mindfully and emptying my chattering monkey mind, going back to a little 20 x 20 cms format felt uncomfortable, tight and restricted.
We laughed so much, there were a few tears, a lot of vulnerability and a whole lot more bravery. The feminine energy was so uplifting and joyful. I learnt a lot about myself and my creative blocks. How much yet how little I know already. How to learn to keep my ego in check at times, how to be brave enough to speak or keep quiet, listen and observe. It also bought some cancer related issues to the surface – conflicted feelings about how much I still need to talk about it and equally how much I want to forget it.
Once I got home I decided to push some of the ideas and discoveries I made by creating a larger work. Starting with some music and blind contour charcoal drawing, and allowing the process to unfold. I filmed myself on timelapse {you can watch the video on my IGTV channel} and then cut the work into four squares.
I’m exploring different sizes of paper and different tools now with a comfort zone much less the size of a playpen and more like an entire field. I also came away with the idea and confidence to open a shop on Etsy, something I’m sure I would never have done without this nurturing, supportive retreat. Plus, we’ve all remained friends and intend to repeat the experience again next year. I’m so glad I took the plunge.
